Christmas is getting closer...

Yesterday was a hard day. Mommy has been doing much better, but I still think of you everyday. We had our Christmas get together on your Nana's side of the family. Everyone didn't show up, which actually helped a little bit. But, things just didn't feel right to me. I didn't cry, I didn't mope, and I didn't act any different than normal, but I just felt like that was the wrong thing to do.

We only get presents for the children in our family, and Marleigh was the only child there this year. It felt so empty, and I just kept thinking that there should have been a present for you under that tree. I looked at every tag, and when the last present was gone, it was so real that you weren't there. You didn't get to celebrate with us this year, and it hurt so much.

The drive home was so hard. Your big sister was exhausted, and slept the whole way home. That means that I had the 30 minute drive to think about you, and it hurt. I cried and said prayers, and just wished that you were here. I've been trying so hard to only pray for safety, comfort, and thanks, but sometimes I just need to be near you.

God really is good, and he always knows how to time things perfectly. After that long drive home, I checked the mail. This is what I got.

Even though I cried forever after opening this, it was so comforting to know that we are loved by people here on this earth, and in heaven. I am so thankful for the many blessings and surprises I have in store for me. I love you so much baby boy, and I can't wait to meet you again.

I am waiting for you, and I pray that I will see you soon.

Mommy