Fear...

Well little one, tomorrow is a big day for mommy. It's our first holiday without you. I am so anxious, scared, and most of all, sad. I'm not ready to face reality yet, but now I don't have a choice.

Your daddy and I spent the day today shopping for you. We went to a thousand stores trying to find a special candle that we can light for you tomorrow. We thought we had found the perfect one until we came to another store. It is small and clear. It also takes oil so we don't have to worry about the candle running out. I don't think I could take that this holiday. It is perfect, for now. I am going to be ordering a special one with your name on it, but it wasn't going to be here in time.

Daddy also got a tattoo in your memory today. He is so proud of it. He told me that it was on his left arm, and he is left-handed, so that now you will always be working with him. It has your perfect little footprints in it so he can look down and always know that you are with him. Mommy also has one, too. We miss you so much.

Well baby boy, mommy is going for tonight, but I will spend a beautiful day thinking of you tomorrow. I love you more than life itself, and no one will ever understand how much I miss you.

I am waiting for you little Christopher.

Mommy