Well, today was a long day. Your daddy took your big sister to the dentist today. They reported that everything went okay. I waited and sat around. I guess I really didn't get a whole lot accomplished around here.
We did go to your Mimi's and Poppy's today. It was a bad day for me so I didn't say much. Your Mimi was making a baby blanket for a pregnant lady that is in the hospital on bed rest. I have to admit that I was so jealous. I just kept thinking that the blanket should have been yours, and how I could only wish that I was in the hospital on bedrest with you still inside of me. I guess that's not reality though. Then your big sister asked your Mimi if she would "make my brother a blanket". I turned my head as a cried. I'm scared that no one will understand. We left earlier then we normally do. I just wasn't up for visiting today.
Your pictures still haven't come yet. I used to cry when they weren't in the mail, now I'm just angry. It's been almost 4 weeks, and I want to be able to put your pictures on our wall. I already have a special place picked out. I had already imagined your newborn baby pictures in that spot, but now they are reserved for your memories.
I go to the doctor next week. I'm already dreading it. I hate that office so much now. Me and you spent so much time there waiting for them to say everything looks great, and to schedule our next appointment. It doesn't seem fair that I should have to go now that you are gone. We even brought your big sister with us to see your 20 week ultrasound. You were so active, and we laughed and smiled when you kept crossing your legs so we couldn't see if you were a boy or girl. Our technician was able to get one perfect shot though that showed exactly which one you were. Daddy was so excited; he had always dreamed of raising up son. He will one day...
We love you so much and think of you all the time. I miss you with all of my heart.
Mommy
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