To the one person that will read this....

Beings that I don't really write anything interesting, and most of my posts are depressing; it's not a surprise that I don't have many people that read this blog. So to the one person that will be reading this, I'm broken. I'm lost. I'm scared.

I don't know where to go from here. I feel like a failure, and I have fallen far from prayer (but yes I still believe in God). It's hard enough to take care of myself, but I'm still responsible for my daughter. Life has made me numb. I still follow the motions, but I have no more thoughts of my own. I'm drowning in the sea of life.

I wake up some days and I feel fine, others I just want to stay in bed. I imagine this is completely normal for someone going through what I am, but it is so damn frightening. It's a difficult place when you realize that you truly no longer care. I don't care where I'm going today, and I don't care where I'm going tomorrow. Life resumes it's day to day, regardless of where I stand. Even when you turn to people, they don't seem to care either. It's such a strange, and devastating place to be.

I'm not saying that I'm going to do anything stupid (because I'm not), but I just feel like I have become completely numb and apathetic to everything. I don't care what I eat, I don't care where I sleep. The only thing that I care about is that my daughter is fed, and safe. Otherwise, leave me alone. I feel alone. I feel empty.