Our date...

I know I haven't written in a while, but life has been really hectic lately. As you know, we have celebrated a lot of holidays and dates lately that have been really hard without you here. Today was the most important one of all. The last doctor's visit that we went to when you were alive, he told us that today would be the day that you would be scheduled to be born by c-section. But, of course things changed.

It was hard waking up this morning, not in bliss. We should have awakened with feelings of excitement, anxiety, and just pure joy. We didn't. We woke up knowing that today we wouldn't be meeting you for the first time, and it was hard.

I hope you got the flowers we sent you. I still think about you every day. Marleigh was excited to send you her flower, and she even has one of her own so that she can have one like you. The view was spectacular, and I have never felt closer to you since you've been gone.

I pray all of the time that God will bring me comfort, because most of the time I feel so lonely without you. I know in my heart that you are where you are suppose to be, but I also know as a mother that I would rather have you with me. Life is hard, and I'm glad you didn't have to live through the perils here. You are so blessed to have only known the life that you live. I will understand one day, but for now I still feel so hopeless. I miss you baby boy, and you will always be such a huge part of my heart.

Please wait for me, because I am waiting for you. I will see you soon, and please send your sister and daddy a lot of love today, because we miss you so much.

Mommy