Just thinking of you....

Well, we've passed the four month mark. It seems as time has flew by, but at the same time it has dragged on. It is still such a confusing memory. It is one filled with horror, love, and bitter sweet times. I can't believe it has already been this long, but I still think of you every day. I know that I would have gotten to give you your first bite of baby food. Your big sister loved it, and I'm sure you would have, too. I think about which food we would have tried first, and how I would have let Marleigh help me. She loves helping, and gets so much gratitiude from it.

You would be learning to sit up, too. We would be doing lots of tummy time, and flash cards to show you bright new pictures and colors. I wonder what color eyes you would have. If they would have started off blue like your sisters, and then slowly turned brown like Mommy's and Daddy's. There were so many memories left to make, and sometimes I have a hard time letting go. I thank God for the time that I did have with you, and sometimes wish for more. But, I know my time will come. For this, I am forever grateful.

I love you so much Christopher, and I can't wait until the day we get to experience all of these first. I am already proud, and I know there is much more in store.

I am waiting for you, and I love you more than you will ever know.

Mommy

Happy Valentines Day!

Happy Valentines Day baby boy! Oh, how Mommy missed you today! I have thought about you oh so much the last few days. We got a whopping 4 inches of snow Friday! I thought of how I would have bundled you up, and how you would have reacted to the big snow flakes landing gently on your cheeks. I also thought about how I would have taken your picture beside your big sister, and beside the snowmen.

I hope you got to share Valentines with all of your heavenly friends, and that you got to think of me today, too. I know your big sister would have tried to sneak you candies, because she loves you so much. I can not wait until you both get to officially meet. You will be absolutely in love with her. She is the perfect big sister!

Your daddy and I got you a new gift the other day. It is so pretty, and I know that you have already seen it. It is a statue with a picture frame at the top, and a little lamb at the bottom that says "Jesus Loves Me". Reverend Ron Holland read that song at your memorial service, so I immediately thought of you when I saw it. I hope you like it, and I will be putting a picture in it soon.

I still find myself taking so long to get things accomplished. I guess on the days when I feel a little better, it is hard to bring myself back to reality. Therefore, I just ignore it. I know it is probably not the best thing to do, but it will come in it's own time. I know that for sure!

Well Christopher, I love you so much. I hope today was more beautiful than my imagination could ever let me know. I am waiting for you, and I will see you soon.

Love,
Mommy

Just thinking of you...

I am getting ready to go to work this morning, and I just can't seem to keep you off of my mind. I still think of you everyday, and I know you would have been so big by now. I'm sure you would be holding your head up, smiling, and cooing. Mommy is so sad that she has to miss all of that.

I know it is going to be a busy day today, so I won't get much time to think about myself. And, that is okay. Sometimes I wonder if people in heaven do really get to look down and watch over the people that they had to leave behind. If you do, what do you think of me?

Mommy